Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
