So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
