I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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