I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
