Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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