Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's shark week go big or go home
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
