So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
