Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
