You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
