My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize