I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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