god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
