My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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