so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
