D3 body, D1 cock
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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