This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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