And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
