i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
