girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
