Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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