Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize