Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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