Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
