If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
