Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
