So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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