my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
