yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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