office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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