i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Green mimosas i think yes
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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