i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
