can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
