my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
