Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
