He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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