I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
