You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
