everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
