I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
