So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
