there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
