What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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