I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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