hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
