Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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