I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
