dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
