id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize