She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My vagina is officially offended.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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