I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
