i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
