I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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