if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
