just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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