He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
