she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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