I think my vagina is haunted
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
