Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
