Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's just like the Real World with babies
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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