Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
