Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
