Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
