I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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