this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
