I'm lost and stupid without you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
