woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
