forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
