The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
