Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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