I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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