she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
