listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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