Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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