My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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