saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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