I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize