Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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