Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this will be a night to untag.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
