seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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